Archive for 7th April 2008

Breaking News: The Onion News Network

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In an effort to bolster its news offerings, Yahoo! Video announced that it has added the Onion News Network to its list of news providers. Long recognized for its journalistic excellence, the Onion News Network is known for breaking such stories as Diebold’s accidental leak of the 2008 election results and China’s celebration of its status as the world’s number one polluter. This move by Yahoo! is being seen as an important step forward in its online news strategy. A recent poll reported that journalistic integrity is seen as increasingly important by 5% of the American population. The poll was conducted at a Newbury, Conneticut shopping mall and has a margin of error of +/- five percent.

No one at Yahoo! Video could be reached for comment, but a woman trying to find the modeling agency located adjacent to Yahoo!’s San Francisco office expressed her enthusiasm, noting that, “in today’s media-saturated world, where we’re constantly bombarded by the uninformed opinions of people who are not actually associated with a particular story, but who carry on in chains of increasingly complex adjectival clauses to make themselves sound important and knowledgeable, it’s probably great.”

The Onion News Network is frequently seen as one of America’s most trusted news sources, ranking just below Fox News and Valleywag. With distribution of its breaking news reports on Yahoo! Video, ONN hopes that they can eclipse their rivals as the go-to source for credible and accurate news reporting.

“Look, on April 1st you had a situation where thousands of people went to web sites like Gawker and Fark expecting news, and instead they were Rick Rolled,” said an anonymous source close to the news desk. “Is this what the American people deserve?”

The answer to this question remains to be seen.

-Kent, Yahoo! Video Team